The Online Wellness Association Blog

It’s interesting to see how our view of our personal world often grows, changes, and then sometimes stops growing.

Before we are born into this world, we are in quite a snug, contained space. Events happen and suddenly our world includes a room and hands and lights and sounds. We are taken from this room into a larger space called the Nursery. From there our world enlarges to include the hospital, a car, then perhaps a bassinet in a bedroom. In a short time we are learning to crawl and our world has even more rooms. As we develop, we explore the whole house and then the backyard. From there we go on to explore our neighborhood, our city, our state, sometimes our country, perhaps even our planet. We open our arms, our minds and our hearts to include them. We claim them as “ours”….where we belong….where we come from…where we live….our home.

My personal world included Tulsa, Oklahoma, America, and eventually the planet Earth. In my late twenties I had a quantum shift in my consciousness and purpose. I decided to really open my arms and my mind and my heart. So I began to include and “feel at home in” our solar system, the Milky Way, the universe, the universes and beyond…. I claim them all as my backyard now. I am at home everywhere.

I encourage you to expand your backyard. Who knows what you will discover!

Blessings,
Sharon Janelle Learn more about me at: http://www.Stepping Stone Retreats.com

“What did you just say? Who said that?” It seems our mind sometimes likes to “terrorize us”. Yes, it’s true. You say “I’m my mind”. No, not true. You have a mind…. just like you have a body, you have a personality, you have a finger, you have freckles, you have thoughts. But those are what you have, not who you are.

Our mind loves to be in control, loves to wander down the paths it is used to wandering, sometimes is lazy and thinks the same thoughts over and over again (why are they are so often negative thoughts?). The mind is constantly “on-the-go”, especially the American mind. Often we don’t consider Silence to be our friend. Do we place high value in quietness, stillness? Do we realize what calm, strength, stress release, and body/mind healing comes with placing ourselves in the space of silence? Sometimes I think not. It’s time for a quantum shift in consciousness and purpose. So, who’s in charge ?

Don’t believe everything you think. (:-)

Blessings,
Sharon Janelle
Learn more about me at: http://www.Stepping Stone Retreats.com

I liken presenting in front of people that I want to impress to a horse trainer walking into the stall of a very obnoxious and mean spirited stallion. Frightening, yet, if you want to move the horse, you must do something that will get the horse’s attention and respect. It is no different with moving a group to buy-in to you.

What’s Missing?
Most of us don’t have the mental mindset or inner confidence of presenting or even standing in front of a group to start with; we need something that will work right now. Self-defeating thoughts no longer need to hold you back when standing before a group. It all starts with the power of presence. The way you present yourself in front of people is a defining moment, that moment indicates what the group will expect from that point on.

Where Do You Start?
I completely believe that all things manifested start in the mind, yet fixing my mind is an arduous process. Lets start with the most profound and easiest place to bend the mind to your will: your personal presence.

If you master the power of your presence, the rest comes sooooooo much easier. Go back to the first paragraph, the one where I spoke about walking into an angry horse’s stall – you will either get injured or a horse will instantly know you are in charge – it is no different with presenting in front of a group of people. Master that first step before you open the stall door and you have mastered the horse. Horses smell fear and they respond to it. People smell fear too, and they feed on you when they sense it. Everyone you present to wants you to give him or her something they can walk away with – they really don’t want you to lose because then, they lose. Remember, after all, life is all about them.

The Short Philosophy Behind Presence
Just think of the people you like to hear speak, what is their presence like? Presence demonstrates attitude, attitude shows in the way you carry yourself and the way you use your voice and in what you give off. You gotta do what it takes to make it appear that you have a strong, powerful presence. Here are a few steps to move you in that direction.

How You Feel About Yourself
If you don’t like yourself no matter what clothes you wear or hairstyle you have or job title you carry, you have to do some serious work around that – remember, it is not physical; weight, hair and style are not what people see, they see the way you feel about yourself. When I am bummed, I must get my mind in a better place before I say a word to my audience. We can all do what we don’t feel like doing, especially if it is for a very short time. Action gets results.

Your Dress
I firmly believe that if you don’t think much of what you are wearing when you present to a group, neither will they. It doesn’t matter if the clothes are new or came out of the local 2nd hand store, it matters about how you feel in those clothes, that affects how confident you appear. I take great pains to make sure I feel great when I am going to present to a group, even if I am only going to give my name, business and tagline. EVERY time I present to a group I must feel good about myself – it is my rule and it works to my advantage; it will also work to yours.

Your Circumstance
I’m sure you think that every really good presenter is not hurting, they have something really great going on in their lives and they have no pain, no extenuating circumstances. After all, really powerful presenters have it all together when they stand or sit in front of a room? I say sit because one of the more powerful speakers I have seen is a quadriplegic; his message was so profound and so intense and so inspiring. It had to do with the way he projected his voice – that is all he really had to give to the audience and it showed up with confidence. Your power comes from projection and attitude, not from your circumstance. Great presenters often have even more tragic circumstances than we do; they have learned to draw strength from their pain.

Pamela’s Point: The true game is mental; you get a head start by doing something physical to align with the mental place you want to be.

When you master the art of presence, you can walk into a stall and the horse will respect you. You can stand in front of a group of mildly interested peers and instantly grab their attention, because they respect you.

There is so much more to say about the Presence in the Presence-tation, but personally I prefer shorter articles, so you’ll have to wait for part 2, Stand Out When You Stand There!

Now, It’s Your Turn…
What have you learned about you and what really goes into the initial presence of public speaking? I’d love to hear what works for you and what you would like to delve deeper into.

Want to Improve?

Pamela Cournoyer, CEO of Communicate With CLASS, Inc. offers personal coaching for those who want to improve their presentations. She works with both local and long distance speakers. http://communicatewithclass.com

If you haven’t noticed JAMIE GUYN’s picture on the ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION HOME page, I invite you to check her out. Jamie is a PIONEER MEMBER of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION, joining in January of 2008–when OWA was still a beta website. Jamie Guyn is the founder of STRONG FAMILIES, EUGENE, OREGON. STRONG FAMILIES is dedicated to improving relationships and strengthening bonds within families. Jamie has worked in the fields of counseling and education for more than 30 years. She holds a BS in Elementary Education from University of Oregon, an MS from Sand Diego State University in Counseling, and holds a License in Professional Counseling from State of Arizona Board of Behavioral Health Examiners. Jamie holds regular groups for parents of teenagers, helping them acquire parenting skills unique for helping guide teens through those ‘difficult’ years. Here are some things people say about her:

“Jamie has a wealth of diverse professional experiences….(she) is a very experienced counselor who is always open to learning new information.” (Carol)

“(Jamie) is calm, understanding, solution focused, and uses self well in the therapeutic process…She easily builds rapport, she is direct and compassionate.” (Marni)

(Type of clients you would refer to her)"Parents with any type of acting out children, substance abusers, people with criminal histories, women in any stage of personal development. There really isn’t any type of client I wouldn’t refer.”

If you have not visited Jamie Guyn’s Strong Famlies Eugene website, do it now: http://www.strongfamilieseugene.com

Thank you, Jamie, for your support with ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION!

On March 14, 2009, Kayla Schroeder hosted a FREE OWA SEMINAR at WISDOM OF WELLNESS & CHIROPRACTIC CENTER, Roseburg, OR. These seminars are meant to educate wellness practitioners on how and why to become part of the 21st century marketing world for wellness practitioners. This is a summary of the “How To” that the audience learned in the FREE two-hour seminar:

Whether you area a counselor, psychologist, massage therapist, life coach, etc, one of the challenges of having a private practice are COSTS and TIME. Having a presence on line can help keep the costs down and save you time:

CONTACT INFORMATION
Depending on what statistics you look at, approximately 80% of American have one or more computers in use; approximately 80%, or more, browse their computers for information. When someone needs to find a person and/or business, they will usually turn on their computer and use one of the search engines to locate what and/or who they need.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF
Websites provide a step-up for you to introduce yourself to the public/potential clients. Once a browser visits your website, they can immediately get to know you by seeing your picture, reading your bio, and reading about the services and/or products you offer.

BECOME THE EXPERT
The internet offers many opportunities to become THE EXPERT in your field of interest. You can publish your thoughts, experiences, and knowledge via blogging, articles, books and teleseminars.

SELL PRODUCTS
Self publishing and self sales are taking off because of the internet. Products associated with your practice that you endorse can easily be marketed off your website. Affiliations and joint ventures offer passive additional income.

Advertising on the internet can be very expensive: anywhere from $20/month to $20,000/month. ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION offers many opportunities to build credibility via the OWA SEAL OF APPROVAL to posting events, posting articles, open blogging, and directory advertising with links. Because the mission of ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION is to build credibility for legitimate practitioners, the cost of yearly membership is less then $16/month. If you are a practitioner, it makes great marketing “cents” to become a member of this 21st Century membership only association.

Kayla Schroeder will be hosting another FREE OWA SEMINAR in the coming weeks in the Roseburg, OR, area. If you are interested in attending the seminar, contact Kayla Schroeder for ticket information: wisdomofwellness@gmail.com.

To learn more about membership with ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION go to:
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com, click on ‘become a member’, ‘how to apply’. If you have any questions, feedback, or concerns, contact me, MAx Fabry, OWA President, maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com. Let us help you become a member today!

Hello, I am so excited to let you know about the release of my first book and meditation CD series, “The Soul of the Heart”. The book and CD will be available April 1, 2009.

Here is an excerpt from the book. I hope you enjoy it.
Finding your Truth Inside

Discovering the Soul of the Heart is, in fact, finding the Heart of the Matter. Probing deep inside our hearts can be frightening because we are innately afraid of the unknown and what it might hold:

Is it going to be an empty box?

Is it going to be full of so many tears that we will not be able to stop crying?

Will there be rage?

Will there be anger?

Or will there be joy?

Yes, there will be all of this. I have noticed, as I work with people and as I work with myself, that there are gentle ways to go deep within and find the gem that is inside the heart of each one of us. And eventually, if we explore enough, we begin to see sparkles of that precious stone through some of its many facets. It may show us the dark sides of ourselves, which are often referred to as our shadow. These often – neglected aspects of ourselves can become our greatest gifts. They contain the seeds of the beauty, the resonance and the resiliency we need in order to stand up in this life and let the light in us shine through.

If you are interested in purchasing the book or the CD, please contact me at catherine@totheheartofthematter.com

People all over are looking at our HELP WANTED blog, February 18, 2009, to take advantage of earning ‘extra’ money. Would love to personally discuss opportunities available for YOU to earn money. This is VERY LEGITIMATE. Browse through www.onlinewellnessassociation.com, and let me know what more you need to INTRODUCE POTENTIAL MEMBERS to the site. PLEASE HELP TO PROMOTE ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION IN YOUR TOWN AND EARN $$$$$.

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column “ASK MAx” published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
I have worked in the same mill for over twenty years. Last week after I arrived for work, I was suspended because I had one beer before going to work. I didn’t deny that I drank. I agreed to a breathalyzer which was only .01. I was told I had to take an alcohol education class before returning to work. This is such BS! I know that mills are trying to cut employees, but, I have been a good worker and I was not drunk when I arrived to work. I think what I do on my own time is my business. How can an employer justify suspending someone for one beer on their own time?

Jim

Dear Jim,
Employers have an obligation to keep all employees safe while on the job. The drug and alcohol policy in your employee handbook probably spells out what will happen if an employee reports to work with any detectable level of alcohol. These policies are meant to commit the workplace to safe working conditions for both the employees and anyone else that comes in contact with the mill. Given the cost to the employer, the employee, and the community, having an effective alcohol and drug-free workplace policy is needed to ensure the longevity of the company.

Alcohol and/or drug use contributes to increased on-the-job injuries, reduction in productivity, and increase in employer costs—such as, insurance rates—which is passed on to the consumers.

Millwork is among one of the industries that has the highest rates of alcohol use. Employees that contribute to this statistic suffer income reductions up to 20% over their lifetime. Absenteeism among substance abuser is almost 10% greater. They take three times as many sick benefits. And, they are at least five times more likely to have an injury that they will file a workman’s claim.

Also consider that addiction of coworkers’ family members can affect the workplace by distracting the working during work hours. Again, even though the worker isn’t using, alcohol and/or drug addiction in their family causes distractions that leads to less productivity, absenteeism, and contributes to possible on-the-job injuries.

Communities also suffer. As costs to employers rise, the ability to maintain a viable business decreases. Particularly in small towns where a single industry defines the town, a business closing is devastating. This is even more devastating when you understand that there is a way to help keep costs down. That obligation to keep costs down falls on both the employer and employee. Every single employee needs to take responsibility for safety in the workplace.

The employer has the responsibility to institute an alcohol and drug program that takes into consideration workplace safety, health, and add value to their business. These programs must also be reasonable to include balancing workplace safety with employee rights to privacy.

According to the U.S Department of Labor, a good comprehensive drug-free workplace program includes five components: a policy, supervisor training, employee education, employee assistance, and drug testing.

There are a couple factors to consider as a worker in an environment where danger is always present with materials and machinery. First, the drug-free workplace policies put into place are not meant to cost you, they are meant to help you. Suspension doesn’t usually mean you are fired; suspension is a wake up call to assess where you are with your drinking and/or use of drugs.

Remember, effects from substance abuse on a body changes as the person’s body changes with age. Particularly, if you are not taking care of yourself with good nutrition, exercise, and rest. Most mills are running with shift work, which may contribute to employee’s physical and emotional states decreasing faster then with people working static shifts.

Workers that have been referred for appropriate educational programs, or treatment, for substance abuse problems, can usually be returned safely to the workplace. Unless there is a severe addiction, a worker that has attended a program can adjust their thinking and behavior to abide by the standards of the company.

Jim, you and your fellow employees are there to watch each other’s back. Turning your back on someone you know is using either drugs and/or alcohol is endangering your life, health, and income. That coworker that everyone knows is nursing a hangover, getting high right before work, or using on the job, probably will not be there to pay your bills when you become injured and unable to work. Do you really want someone like this watching your back? Do you really want to be “that” person yourself?

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transition such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry as www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

During this time of tremendous emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and economic upheaval, it is imperative that we set a conscious intention to stay rooted within ourselves. To explore creative ways to go beyond coping with what is happening to a mindset of thriving and expanding during these exciting transformative times. I have created a list of possibilities that you perhaps can add to your list of options for creating “Inspired Choices” for Staying Emotionally Balanced.

1) Talk and interact with others in a supportive way that encourages resolutions and solutions.

2) With a compassionate and kind heart, offer support not only to others, but to yourself as well.

3) Practice unconditional kindness, appreciation, love, and gratitude to someone or something, including yourself in all circumstances and all things without exception. Notice your small successes.

4) With curiosity, begin to notice your personal “Drama” or storyline. Notice your “inner” dialogue. Is it expanding you or contracting you?

5) On a daily basis, be aware of how much news you listen to, watch, or read in a day, and notice your reactions. Perhaps practice one day without observing the news, and notice how you feel.

6) Spend time throughout the day in stillness. Practice “Being” rather than “Doing”.

7) Practice noticing your breath. Deep relaxed breathing helps to reduce stress and anxiety.

8) Nourish yourself with enough sleep, food, exercise, and water.

This is a wonderful time to create healthy communities. With that in mind, pay attention to who you spend your time with. Notice how you feel when you are with them – Do you feel uplifted and inspired, or deflated and frustrated? This is a perfect time to start some energetic “spring cleaning”. To perhaps re-evaluate how you have been living your life and areas that you may want to “dust out’, in order to bring in new fragrance and growth. The “shadow parts” of ourselves may be surfacing now, so with a gentle and curious heart, thank them for showing up and release them with Love and Grace. Each time you release something of your self, fill that space up with what you want to bring into your life. Perhaps it’s more compassion, love, abundance, inspiration, creative, or balance. Again, this is your time to create the life you have been wanting to live and wanting to fully step into. Rest assured that you are not alone and that each step of your journey is unfolding perfectly.

If these suggestions are helpful to you, please pass them on to others who may also benefit from inspiration. If you have any inspirational suggestions that have been useful for you, please share them with me.

With a Grateful Heart, Catherine

Catherine VanWetter
http://www.totheheartofthematter.com

MAx Fabry is a regular contributor to a weekly column “ASK MAx” published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
Recently there was big layoff at the business I have worked at for five years. Many of the employees that were laid off had been here a lot longer then I have been here. I considered several of these people to be more then follow employees, they were my friends. I love my job and I appreciate that I still have it and the income that comes with it. But, I am finding it harder to come into work and have a good attitude while I am here. How can I change these feelings of guilt?

Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,
Sounds like you are suffering as part of the ‘survivor guilt’ epademic that is presently sweeping the globe. While millions of people have been losing their jobs, millions of other people are left behind to continue working. This malady can leave you with feelings of both relief and anger; it may leave you confused and, even disoriented.

Unemployment in the U.S. has hit double digits in many areas. In November, 2008, Michigan was taking the greatest hit due to the problems the auto industry was having. Other complications in the economy, including bank failures, have also contributed to industries closing, and people losing their jobs. This trickle down affect is felt in just about every business in the country, and many other places around the world.

Opinions are that we are in the worse economical shape since the great depression era. Politicians scurry to come up with a plan to readjust the direction the economy has been going for almost two years. Their efforts, no matter how accurate, will take time to implement and change the downtown in the economy. Meanwhile, people will continue to loose their jobs, and those left behind will be torn with guilt.

There is a progression to the guilt that manifests: feelings of relief that you get to stay; realization that with less people YOU get to do more work for the same, or less money; and, finally, feelings of not feeling appreciated.

Dealing with any loss is a process that involves denial, bargaining, anger, sadness/depression, and acceptance. It is said that experiencing the process of loss is like being in a graduate program of life. If you allow yourself to experiencing each phase of the loss cycle, you will come out of it a stronger person.

In my Moving On workshop, which includes an entire day of grief and loss work, I suggest to my participants that in their deepest despair of their loss they institute the airline oxygen rule: When the oxygen drops down during an emergency, it doesn’t matter who is sitting next to you, you put the oxygen on yourself first. You need to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

Bonnie, to help you get through the feelings of survivors guilt that you are having, be sure that you take care of yourself: talk about what you are feeling. Be sure to get rest, eat right, exercise, and drink a lot of water. Set good boundaries at work as far as taking on more then you can handle. When talking to your laid-off friends, listen and acknowledge their experience, but don’t take their problems on as your own.

During these difficult economic times we are like rocks in a tumbler that are tossed to and fro, and we are getting bruised. But, as in other recessions, we will end up coming out more polished and valuable than ever. Just hang in there and believe that there are better times coming!
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Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to maxfabry@lifestylechangescounseling.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.