The Online Wellness Association Blog

ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION “JOB FAIR”
I have set a goal of 1000 NEW MEMBERS and I need your help.

EARN MONEY WORKING FROM HOME
NO INVESTMENT—NO SALES!!
VERY LEGITIMATE WORK

offered by a local internet company set to grow in 2010:
http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

MINIMAL INTERNET SKILLS REQUIRED
ATTEND THIS NO OBLIGATION INFORMATION FAIR ON

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2:30 PM to 4:30 PM.
SATURDAY, FEBRUATY 13, 9 AM to 11 AM
Eugene Abbey Bldg: 1001 Washington Street, Eugene, OR 97401

OUTSIDE OF AREA? TELESEMINAR ON “HOW TO GET STARTED” COMING SOON!!

For additional information e-mail:
maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com
or call MAx Fabry 541-510-2548

Thee is still time to EARN MONEY for the holiday season. Until December 31, 2009, ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION is still offering its stimulus package to help you have money for the up coming holidays. Instead of buying expensive advertising, OWA wants to offer YOU $100 for helping get new members. $100!! No limit!!! Here is how it works:

-Browse through http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com to understand what ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION does. I would suggest being sure to read “Words from Our Founder”.

-If YOU have any questions, or need clarification on anything on the website, contact our OWA President at maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com. OWA wants YOU to be clear about what you are selling.

-YOU actually aren’t selling anything. OWA staff members will do the selling. YOU are INTRODUCING ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION to wellness practitioners in your community.

-To be clear what a “wellness practitioner is” visit the blog entry from 5/28/09 at http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com/blog/

-INVITE wellness practitioners to browse the site, and ask if you can send their contact information to ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION. If you would like to have cards to hand out, e-mail a request to maxfabry@onlinewellnessassociation.com. Be sure to include your name, address, and phone number.

-OWA DOES NOT hard sell. But, we can offer special discounts because of YOUR referral. The OWA staff will not embarrass you in any way.

-Within a week of your referral being approved for membership, YOU WILL RECEIVE PAYMENT FOR $100.

REMEMBER there is NO LIMIT on the number of referrals you send. WE WANT TO PAY YOU TO MARKET ONLINE WELLNESS ASSOCIATION!!

http://www.onlinewellnessassociation.com

MAx Fabry is a member in good standing with OWA and a regular contributor to a weekly column “ASK MAx” published in the SPRINGFIELD TIMES, Springfield, Oregon. The SPRINGFIELD TIMES is published weekly on Friday by S.J. Olson Publishing, Inc. This column is published on this blog by permission of the SPRINGFIELD TIMES. Visit their website at http://www.springfieldtimes.net.
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Dear MAx,
I have recently lost two dear friends. One was killed in a car accident on the East Coast; the other had a heart attack and died—he only lived six blocks from me. I was not directly notified about either of these deaths. I found out about them through the grapevine. I am questioning what kind of a friend I am that I didn’t even know they passed until weeks after it happened.

Louie

Dear Louie,
Whether we were sitting next them when they pass, or we hear about their transition well after the event, experiencing the loss of a loved one is always difficult. I suspect you may not understand the process of grieving.

As a volunteer with the Red Cross during 9-11, I realized that we are a nation that doesn’t know how to grieve. Shortly after returning from my assignment, I started having workshops to provide people the tools they need to understand this very personal human journey.

Up until the middle of the 20th century, immigrants to the US brought with them their traditions and rituals of grieving the loss of loved ones. Each culture brought with them a rich heritage that included grieving.

As a first generation American, my mother passed on the rituals of her Sicilian family. These “rules of grieving” were based on old world traditions dating back centuries. For instance, children under a certain age were not allowed to participate in the formal grieving—the viewing, the church service, and the burial—but were part of the meals and stories.

Somehow, in our evolution as a society, old world traditions and rituals are replaced with modern ideas. In these “modern times” we are a nomadic society barely held to our roots by technology. The phone system and many ways of computer communication, seems to have replaced that face-to-face renewal of family and friendship interactions.

Back in the 1950’s, Elisabeth Kublar-Ross provided Americans with a process for grieving. She presented five stages of grief that people experience: Denial, Bargaining, Anger, Sadness, and Acceptance. There is no time limit for going through the process, and you can go back and forth in how you experience each stage.

“Guilt” feelings are part of the grief and loss process and usually appear in all stages of the grief and loss process. I use to think that guilt was inherited through just my Sicilian culture. But, I now know that, in general, we are all born with the “guilt gene”.

Guilt is that part of our human conscience that sets a standard for our reality and reminds us when we are coming up short. The “standard” is our definition of what is right or wrong, good or evil. Guilt convicts us for being less then.

Guilt is positive in that it becomes the safety valve for our human condition. Guilt forces us to stop, think, and re-evaluate that standard we set for ourselves. It is probably a good idea to examine resetting our standards through each stage of life.

Louie, it sounds like you are in a stage of life where you are re-examining your standards. Guilt of loosing two friends and learning about their passing long after the event, has, maybe, forced you to examine your life, where you are now, what is important to you, and what you would want to change. This is the positive aspect of “guilt”.

This is all part of the grief and loss process. What I have learned from my clients and from participants in my workshops, is each time someone reaches the acceptance stage, they assess where they are in their life, and discover that they are better, wiser, and stronger people for allowing themselves to experience the process.

To understand more about the process of grief and loss, I still highly recommend Elisabeth Kublar-Ross’ book “On Death and Dying”. If you contact me at the information provided below, I would be honored to send you a visual of the cycle.

Remember, Louie, you are a spiritual being having a human experience. Experiencing grief is as important as experiencing joy. As with every other feeling, embrace the feeling of guilt, and listen for what it is telling you about your standards. In the end, you will be a better person for the experience.

I am sorry for your loses. I hope this insight will help you to be well on your journey.

Have a question about addiction, recovery, or life transitions such as retirement, career change, grief and loss issues, empty nesting, etc, ‘Ask MAx’. Send your questions to Lifestyle Changes, PO Box 1962, Eugene, OR 97440; or, e-mail your questions to: askmaxcolumn@yahoo.com. Learn more about MAx Fabry and read her blog at www.lifestylechangescounseling.com.

HOLIDAYS JUST AREN’T THE SAME:
STILL LIFE GOES ON

COPING STRATEGIES FOR THE HOLIDAYS

1. Redefine your holiday expectations. Allow yourself scale back on activities. Plan ahead as to where and how you will spend your time during the holidays. Tell important people in your life that this is a difficult season and let them know what they can do to help. Don’t expect people to remember or to know what to do. Plan to be with the people YOU enjoy.

SUGGESTION: Redefine your celebrations on winter: go to a mountain lodge; go Sledding or skiing, or just take a walk in the woods–time out to enjoy what nature has to offer in this season.

2. Select a candle in your loved one’s favorite color and scent. Place it in a special area of your home and light it at a significant time throughout the holidays, signifying the light of the love that lives on in your heart.

SUGGESTION: Include the deceased in your conversations and celebrations. Hang a stocking for your loved one in which people can put notes with their thoughts or feelings. Look at photographs. Once others realize that you are comfortable talking about your loved one, they can relate stories that will add to your pleasant memories.

3. Give yourself permission to express your feelings. If you feel an urge to cry, let the tears flow. Tears are healing. Scientists have found that certain brain chemicals in our tears are natural pain relievers.

SUGGESTION: (Fill in with YOUR idea)

4. Call family members or dear friends and share your feelings. If they knew him or her, consider asking them to share some memories of times they shared with your loved one.

SUGGESTION:

5. Write an “un-sent letter” to your loved one expressing what you are honestly feeling toward him or her at this moment. After you compose the letter, you may decide to place it in a book, album or drawer in your home, leave it at a memorial site, throw it away, or even burn it and let the ashes rise symbolically.

SUGGESTION:

6. If you live within driving distance of the cemetery, decorate the memorial site with a holiday theme.. Decorating the site yourself can be helpful in remembering and celebrating your loved one’s life during the holidays, and may free you to cherish the present holiday with your remaining family.

SUGGESTION:

7. Play music that is comforting and meaningful to you. Take a few moments to close your eyes and feel the music within the center of your being.

SUGGESTION:

8. Give money you would have spent for gifts for your absent loved one to a charity in your family member’s name.

SUGGESTION: Do something for others: volunteer at a soup kitchen; visit the lonely and shut-ins; ask someone who is alone to share the day with your family; provide help for a needy family; volunteer at the airport to pour coffee for stranded travelers; or offer to volunteer in a hospital on the holiday.

9. DON’T BE AFRAID TO HAVE FUN. Laughter and joy are not disrespectful. Give yourself and your family members permission to celebrate and take pleasure in the holidays.

SUGGESTION:

10. TAKE CARE OF YOU. Set priorities! Grief is exhausting Be careful with excessive use of alcohol or medications. Try to keep on a routine. Eat as well as you can, get your rest, and keep up with your exercise program. If you need some quiet time, take it. Use relaxation techniques you learn here today. Give yourself something to look forward to after the holiday.

SUGGESTION:

For the last several months, twice a week I have had the wonderful opportunity of interviewing many of the authors from Overcomers, Inc., a book due out in mid October 2009, on my blogtalkradio show. It has been such an honor to be welcomed into the lives of these authors as they talk of their own struggles, trials and ultimate victories surrounding the unique challenges each faced in their life.

What I am most profoundly aware of is the resiliency of the human heart and spirit. During this time in history all of us, to some degree, are being challenged in areas of our lives, which create tremendous vulnerability and angst. How is it that some folks rise to the occasion, while others sink? It has a lot to do with resiliency, hope, courage and tremendous tenacity. Some folks are born with this internal strength, while others gain it through living life. Either way, the results are phenomenal.

I love hearing stories of hope, courage and inspiration because it reminds me that all of our stories of life are important to tell. They are especially powerful when we tell them in a way that is victorious and witnessed by others. Victorious in that, one is able to fully embrace the situation in a way that is empowering to the individual and also honors the gifts of the dilemma that are sometimes hidden.

The authors I have interviewed thus far have dealt with life threatening diseases, losses of a loved one or devastation from a divorce, to name just a few. All of them expressed the same learning’s, though in different words, that when they lifted themselves up with an open, compassionate and loving heart embracing the adversity that tore apart their world, that that is where their true gift was.

I am so grateful and deeply blessed, with not only speaking with these amazing individuals but to be part of this incredible journey of “Overcomers” overcoming adversity with hope, courage and inspiration. Thank you all for your participation and dedication to help make this a better world.

With a Grateful and Very Full Heart,
Catherine VanWetter
Inner Resolution Facilitator of Peace, Compassion, Forgiveness and Love

I am still in the process of interviewing the authors and would invite you to take the time to listen. Be ready to be inspired! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inspirationsoftheheart

Enjoy insights into Overcoming Adversity with Grace with the FREE ebook at http://www.overcomersbook.com/grace

I also invite you to contact Tami if you are interested in being a guest on Inspirations of the Heart Radio. Tami@ToTheHeartOfTheMatter.com